tales from the chat archive: traffic court fashion

11:31 PM well-dressed man: yes i dressed nice

11:33 PM me: but you still paid money

 well-dressed man: its not a whore house

  its a court house

  an old white man is not going to let me go because i looked good, lol

  i could go in a thong and he would probably make me pay more 

11:39 PM me: oooooor...it would look like you have tons of money and could afford the higher fine

 well-dressed man: actually it was funny....

  he asked the first five people in front of me if they had a job

  and he didn't ask me

11:40 PM i wore dress pants and dress shoes, which i never wear 

11:47 PM me: he was probably surprised YOU went to court instead of your lawyer

11:51 PM well-dressed man: no, my face looked like i just wanted to pay and get on with my life. i think i got a cold from being around real people. 

 

lessons learned:

1. court house not a whore house.

2. justice is blind...and that's a good thing.

3. people assume that the well-dressed are employed.

4. the common cold is airborne.

when i see this, i think...round 2

of course i was reading about the Queen of England's diamond jubilee celebration lunch, and learned that there is a real Queen of Jordan and her name is Rania. and she is GORGEOUS! not to mention that she is a true believer that education = opportunity.

but during my more ignorant days, the only Queen of Jordan i know is Tracy Jordan's wife Angie. who can forget that voluptuous confident woman? she has a (fake) reality tv show. and D'fwan! come on! you know you'd watch it.

story time

in today's edition of "this girl writes something" i'm going to share with you a cryptic part-of-a-larger-entity story i wrote for brandon generator, edgar wright and tommy lee edward's brainbaby.

The scanner reads the barcode on my IDcuff. I move it up to my face after the third beep and read today's schedule: 

0730 Breakfast, DHALL 

0800 Comm Assembly, LNX ATR 

0900 History, LL13 

1030 Adv Physics, LL05 

1200 Lunch, DHALL 

*1245 Sys + Strategy, LL22 

*1500 Sp Weapons Training, CC47 

1800 Dinner, DHALL 

*1900 PhSYC Cond, MC438 

Three schedule changes. And PhSYC? So they believed the rumors. They now actually think I am insane.

questions?

why do they all have IDcuffs? 
are those dog tag replacements? 
how far into the future is this? 
are they in the military? 
WTF do all those letters stand for?  
they spelled "psychology" wrong? "physical?"
if he/she's insane, then why still make him/her go to weapons training?
what's happening?


i thought so.

answers? i don't have all of them. i don't even know if i should flesh this out into a full-blown short story or - do i dare say - a book. but i do know that i've been churning out tidbits of stories once every few days. they're longer than the 500-character limit on brandon generator so i haven't submitted any of those. (i do have another one up on the site if curiosity does you in.)

french kids dancing

or more like american actors acting like french kids dancing. either way, best use of french pop music ever.

here's part two of the sketch: les jeunes de paris 2 - le retour
also, props to camille, yelle, emma stone, AND taran killam for making these two of the most entertaining sketches in recent snl seasons.