"are you gonna eat that?" and other things we said this weekend

R: On a trip to France in high school, I got nicknamed "La Poubelle."
S: Everything sounds better in French. Just don't tell people what it really means.*

P: (reading the brunch menu) Eggs Cheese Pake
J: Egg Cheesecake?!
F: It's Chesapeake.
J: (to P) I know you're from up north, but where exactly?

J: I am more motivated by good food rather than money.

J: Going to Dunkin Donuts was the best decision of the night.

G: If my kid wants to be a basket weaver, I'd support him, but he better be the best [motherf'n] basket weaver out there.

J: I got a letter from the state bar asking me to explain my propensity to disregard VA traffic laws...First of all, it was a bad year.

J: But I'm passive-aggressive. I'd be, "What do YOU think is missing from this cake cutting?"
G: That takes too many calories to say. I'd be like, "Fork. NOW."

F: Of all the superheroes, I don't like Spider-man. He's so whiny.
J: Well, he is a teenager.

J: How is Kristen Stewart more beautiful than Charlize Theron?
S: How is Kristen Stewart an actress?

*Curious? La Poubelle means garbage can.

just go with it

instead of sending a correction about their father's day deals faux pas, groupon decided to roll with it.

i especially like the photoshopped dad who's probably on his third trimester.

open letter to groupon

dear Groupon,
i am not a seahorse, nor is my dad.

much love,
J

robotica: the invasion

the independent nation of robotica has decided to invade the local elementary school by way of the library, an important stronghold to capture. why? that, my friends, is classified. they sent twelve of their best men. ten were deployed at the children's section. one in the stacks. and one, well, we call him "the eye in the sky" or just "the eye."

this directive was brought to you by the Art House Co-op.