keeping the past alive

on a hot summer day, we decided to check out a park that used to be a vibrant theme park. they still turn on the neon lights at dusk. they still keep the carousel running during the day. they still have the galleries open for display. but all that’s left is the facade and the community that clings to it.

here's the good thing

At first I signed up on dating sites mainly for moral support. A friend wanted me to do it so she can have someone to talk to about her "progress." She also thinks that I also needed to get on the dating sites if I wanted to meet that someone. I wasn't really looking, but I humored her. I can sign up and just let the acvount sit dormant. It seems though that subconsciously part of me wanted to do it since I signed up for them no questions asked. Well, there was one question, "How much time do I have to invest on my dating profile?" Honestly, if it was more than 10 minutes, I was ready to bail. (More on that later.) My friend said, "Not a lot. You shouldn't write too much. Just enough to make yourself interesting." In more or less those words.

I went on multiple meet-ups. (No one really uses the word "date" explicitly anymore. I noticed. Correct me if I'm wrong.) Most of the people I met are genuinely interesting, but there was no attraction. Each one had something unique to offer, whether it be a certain type of humor or a cultural experience. When I talk to them during that first or second meet-up, I wasn't feigning interest. I truly wanted to know what happened during their travels or how many languages they know how to speak. People are fascinating.

But of course not everything turns out great. There are a lot of confusing and frustrating times. I think it's going well? Yeah, only in my mind apparently. My brain goes into full-on overanalyzing mode. Did I do something wrong? Was I not nice to that server and he picked up on it? Did I say or do something offensive? Did I come off as ditsy and flaky? Those and other more personally degrading thoughts such as, "Maybe I'm meant to live the rest of my life alone because no one cares about me the same way I care about them." go through my head. I go to a dark place.

But I get over it (or will eventually). The feelings cycle. I wish I could control what and how others think and feel, but I can't. That's life's one of many ways to keep or existence interesting. There is a delightful side effect that came out during this time. I again became fully invested in my old hobbies. Those things on my profile that make me likable? I actually spend more time doing/being those. I ride my bike more. I am healthier. I know which parts of my physical appearance I need to highlight. I love my job even more. In short, I'm actually becoming my ideal self. Also, since I genuinely am interested in some of the things my dates like, I start to explore them. I discovered new books to read, movies to watch, music to listen, food to eat, activities to try, and places to see. I'm not trying to force a connection by doing these things. I just want to do them, and if it happens that it just doesn't suit me, then I don't continue. If I pretend to love it just to have one more thing to say we got in common, then that's a problem. I do it more out of curiosity, and in a way, I'm enhancing the quality of my life by experiencing it through others' interests.

And that's the one good thing.

french 101

see if you can guess what we're talking about. clue: we're in a cafe.

french-is-not-my-first-language: hey, that looks good.

me: which one?

french-is-not-my-first-language: uhm...that...kwee-SHEE.

me: the what? read it again. it's french.

french-is-not-my-first-language: kwee-SHAY?!

swing and a miss!

here are some awkward stories

I have never been able to play it cool without somehow having it backfire in some absurd way.

STORY #1: walking along the hallway and since I don't have glasses but clearly have poor eyesight, I begin to squint as I see someone who looked really familiar. I was going for clint eastwood on a fistful of dollars.

well, this wasn't the awkward part. for a full three seconds I was cool. glorious. then familiar looking boy started to speak.

boy-I-met-before-or-did-I: hi! you're Ben's friend right?

me: yeah...you're from the gallery opening.

smooth. brain cells are firing brilliantly today.

boy-I-definitely-met-before: that's right.

ok, brain. two for two. you KNOW this guy's name. let's keep going.

me: uhhhmm...Ryan??

boy-I-met-before-who-is-now-walking-away: uh, no.

I should have stopped.

STORY #2: I've spent a LOT of late nights in studio hopped up on caffeine and extra loud music pouring out of my headphones. well, isn't that normal? for an architecture student, you mean? well, yes, but if you add some key ingredients like: a well-placed desk one needs to pass in order to get to the men's room, a boy who is illegally good looking, a heightened sense of awareness, and a metal ruler; something not quite right is going to go down.

he always wore khakis and a button-down shirt rolled-up just right under the elbow. always. in the pajamas and well-worn jeans culture of studio, this is a rare sight. although tonight he wore jeans and a blue polo shirt with brown suede shoes. I was floored. it was like casual wear met the boss. so dreamy.

dear nature, I thank for making the call that day because he answered.

he had to go. and I hashed out a plan.

ok, 2:30am brain, what you got?

brain: why don't we pretend to be frustrated with this plan drawing and throw your hands into the air? closed fists and all. maybe a little cry of despair? he's definitely going to stop and ask if you're ok and hold you in his arms and comfort you until the café downstairs open and you share a cup of coffee as you plan your life together.

me: brain, i'm all for this genius plan. why can't you be like this instead of spazzing out when i'm on a review? 

I see him in the corner of my eye. fifteen feet. ten. five. four. three. two.

me-as-I-raise-my-fists-in-full-theatrics-as-he-walked-behind-me: aaaargh! this plan!!

I told you about the metal ruler, right?

I almost stabbed ridiculously-handsome-guy in the face. in his devastatingly gorgeous face.

that was not part of the plan.

here's some music for you

brought to you by spotify...who btw, just launched free mobile radio for Android devices.

for those who are into visuals, well, the video (may be quite disturbing for some) is online. just search "dilly" + "band of horses" + "finger gun" or you know, click on here.

art of studying

i can't believe how many study aids are available to anyone who wants to learn certain things. oh, how i wish i had these tools when i was in school! i am set in my low-tech ways but am really appreciating the high-tech options available. technology, man. i am so there.

books and notes
everyone has to rely on reading books and taking notes by hand. i use a combination of highlighting, using post-its and writing directly on the pages. this is how i mastered the art of writing tiny. i had a few classmates who took notes in class with their laptops, but i didn't start taking notes on the computer until grad school. even then, i have handwritten notes that i then transcribe into the computer. (i am such a dinosaur, i know.)

from T-Rex Trying

now they have special pens and pads that automatically save your notes digitally, and personal scanners that let you save pages from textbooks. no more scrambling for change for the photocopier. dude, if i wanted to review my notes or transfer them to the computer, i have to decipher scribbles, drifting letters, and giant ink blots. serves me right for sleeping during lectures, right? also, laptops are more portable and tablets are prevalent. you can pretty much download a ton of education apps, like freakin' Wolfram Alpha! it does college level math for you (above all other wonderful things).

then there are e-books which you can also highlight and bookmark, but i think my favorite feature of e-books or pdf files is the fact that you can search them. F3 and boom, there's that word/definition you're looking for. saves so much more time than skimming. oh yeah, and with e-readers, you don't have to be a pro weightlifter to carry your book bag. (i still love the tactile quality of real books though, but then again i'm part pterodactyl.)

whiteboard
for an environmentally friendly way of doing drills, taking down temporary notes, making study to-do checklists. there is nothing more satisfying than erasing the things you've already nailed. very low-tech and requires no batteries.

the library
cheap? can't afford books? both? go to the library and borrow the books you need. if you don't like the stacks and the damp smell of old books, then search and place a hold on the books online. i remember in high school, i had to learn what the dewey decimal system is. now it's convenient because the catalog is digitized. all you have to do is pick them up at the circulation desk.

it's also a great place to be extra productive. i usually go during crunch time when i want all my study hours to be REAL study hours. the library as a study place doesn't work for everyone, but i find that coffee places are full of people who hog all the outlets and write "books."

flashcards
i LOVE flashcards. i will buy multi-colored index cards and spend HOURS transferring terms, dates, definitions, formulas, diagrams, etc. by hand. art/architecture history cards which rely heavily on images are a nightmare! who has time to search for photos, print or photocopy, then cut/paste into the cards? i know a few. it's a variation on note-taking, really. then come study time, i'm surrounded by piles and piles of color-coded cards. it's a well-informed rainbow! weee! the study leprechaun with its pot of test answers is here to the rescue!

now they have electronic flashcards. at the very basic level, you can search for the subject you want and in a few SECONDS, you have 124 flashcards on hand you can download on your smartphone/tablet/computer or print. you can also make your own sets to share for extra brownie points. a lot of services are free like quizlet and studyblue. there are also paid ones that you can search and custom sort, are automatically cross-referenced, and comes with online support. they also track which cards you've seen, and how many you've reviewed correctly. spoiled much? seriously, these flashcards are the personal trainers for your brain. 

online forums
these have been around for a while, but i've only started using them as a study tool lately. if you find a good one for your area of study, join and stick with it. these forums are your virtual study group, but don't abuse them. real people with feelings are behind those avatars, you know. they're also there for support for when you start freaking out about your exam or for when you feel like ranting to people who are in the same boat as you. very cathartic. 

online resources
google: i don't even use my dictionary and thesaurus anymore. i think about the countless minutes i wasted looking for a word that in the end isn't even included in my edition of the dictionary. so sad.
online translation service: i know swahili. well, google translate knows swahili. weeeell, basic swahili.
wikipedia: need to learn something general about a topic, like, right now? this helps big time. but don't use it as your primary source for your papers. go to the source which (some) are thankfully footnoted.
style guides/manuals: chicago? MLA? all online. even lazier? there's even bibliography builders! all those years trying to figure out how to compile a works cited page...
youtube: online tutorials and lectures are posted online. slippery slope here...just don't be tempted to start watching kittens and babies who might have just said "s**t."
MIT OpenCourseWare: need a differential calculus refresher or learn about costume design? MIT publishes most of the coursework materials (those digitally available, of course) and shares them with everyone who wants to learn about a particular topic. if you happen to find a class that coincides with your current study needs, then you've hit the jackpot. this won't give you college credit but can satisfy your interests.

now, focus and go hit the books!

stickman

while stumbling upon stuff on the interweb, i was directed to this fantastic website called Draw A Stick Man. well, it's self-explanatory. i compiled my screenshots for the last third of drawing/animation. so yeah, spoiler alert!

shrinking without lasers

i made deep dish pizzas. only smaller AND cuter.

close up of a first batch pie

second batch of mini pizza pies before going into oven

exams: a post-mortem

Edit1: Added graph showing how I felt within the first half hour (or less) after an exam
Edit2: I haven't gotten my results back.

Ah! I just walked out of the testing center. I turned in all my scratch paper and didn't even think twice about nicking the No. 2 pencils. I'm feeling great. I just totally nailed that exam. "Hello, Career? Where's your ladder? I'm coming up."

Six seconds later: Panic!

"Hmm...Did I exit the exam correctly? What if it didn't save my answers? Oh my! Stupid. Stupid."

My legs start to weaken. Must. Reach. Car.

"I should've stuck with C. Should it have been I, II, III AND IV? Did I move the line?"

I just sit in my car for the next three minutes trying to convince myself that my answer choices were the best ones, and that the computer also saved all my answers. Rational left brain kicks in.

"Naaah! I had to move that line. It was following the wrong sketch line, Silly. I made the right decision. And it was definitely B. Choice C wouldn't even make sense to a five year old. And IV? Hah! That was definitely NOT true. So obvious."

Then I go check the Internet to see if I had to do something special to exit the exam. Search "magic hidden save button" and "exam exiting procedure" and "did the computer just eat my exam?" (Pop quiz: Which search string did I really use on Google? Answer: Of course, C. Wait, nope, it's B. Yes?) It turns out, the computer saves all my answers every minute or so. Hooray for autosave!

OK, I'm awesome again. Well, maybe 86% awesome.

I never realized how many traffic lights were on my route home. At each red light, I think about more questions. More items I think I got wrong, or maybe I actually got right but mis-clicked the incorrect answer. It snowballs until I come to the conclusion that I have just definitely failed that exam. 48% max. Wait, Washington DC IS the capital of the US. At least, I know for sure that's correct. Oh, blurgh, that was just the sample question!

"Sh%t! Aaaargh! Rehabilitation! No! It WAS Sitte! F%ck! I should have put 5. OHMYGOD! Noooooo!"

Time elapsed after leaving the testing center: 18 minutes. Real life roller coasters don't even go on for this long. Most definitely counting this experience as self-inflicted torture, which when I look back, I've gone through every time I finished a major exam.

Almost.

I am 110% sure I killed it during the AP Calculus exam: x equals negative b plus/minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac over 2a, bitch!

tales from the chat archive: name change and american history

it started with one question: if you could change your legal name, what would you change it to?

3:31 PM preston: preston vanderbilt

 unnamed: looks like you've already used that alias

  sounds very old money

3:32 PM you should add "Preston Vanderbilt IV"

  "yeah, mah daddy owned a steel mill"

3:33 PM preston: hahha

  i want to be the third

  car money

3:34 PM or industrial business money

3:35 PM unnamed: well...the vanderbilts were known for cornering the railroad and shipping biz

  i think i'm confusing my early america multi-millionaires/business moguls

  i think steel was the rockefellers

3:36 PM preston: hah

 unnamed: aaargh.....they're oil

  who got steel??

3:37 PM Carnegie!

  i love wikipedia!

3:39 PM preston: hahah

3:40 PM i dont like that name though

3:41 PM unnamed: carnegie?

  or preston (looks up "preston vanderbilt" on facebook)

  http://www.facebook.com/people/Preston-Vanderbilt/100000552379996

  of course he plays lacrosse

3:42 PM OF COURSE

3:45 PM preston: oh gosh!

  he took my name!

 emmanuelle (fmr unnamed): i'll be emmanuelle le croix and move to morocco and pretend to be a prima ballerina who got forced into retirement

3:46 PM preston: lololol

3:47 PM emmanuelle: "i hate that yvonne...stupide french beetch"

lessons learned:
1. there is an actual Preston Vanderbilt and he plays lacrosse. his trust fund kicked in years ago. where do you think he got the money to pay for that island?!
2. if you meet Emmanuelle Le Croix, please don't mention ballet or Yvonne. she has a new career and bff now.
3. you can't win in trivial pursuit if you keep interchanging the names of the families who helped build america.

"are you gonna eat that?" and other things we said this weekend

R: On a trip to France in high school, I got nicknamed "La Poubelle."
S: Everything sounds better in French. Just don't tell people what it really means.*

P: (reading the brunch menu) Eggs Cheese Pake
J: Egg Cheesecake?!
F: It's Chesapeake.
J: (to P) I know you're from up north, but where exactly?

J: I am more motivated by good food rather than money.

J: Going to Dunkin Donuts was the best decision of the night.

G: If my kid wants to be a basket weaver, I'd support him, but he better be the best [motherf'n] basket weaver out there.

J: I got a letter from the state bar asking me to explain my propensity to disregard VA traffic laws...First of all, it was a bad year.

J: But I'm passive-aggressive. I'd be, "What do YOU think is missing from this cake cutting?"
G: That takes too many calories to say. I'd be like, "Fork. NOW."

F: Of all the superheroes, I don't like Spider-man. He's so whiny.
J: Well, he is a teenager.

J: How is Kristen Stewart more beautiful than Charlize Theron?
S: How is Kristen Stewart an actress?

*Curious? La Poubelle means garbage can.

just go with it

instead of sending a correction about their father's day deals faux pas, groupon decided to roll with it.

i especially like the photoshopped dad who's probably on his third trimester.

open letter to groupon

dear Groupon,
i am not a seahorse, nor is my dad.

much love,
J

robotica: the invasion

the independent nation of robotica has decided to invade the local elementary school by way of the library, an important stronghold to capture. why? that, my friends, is classified. they sent twelve of their best men. ten were deployed at the children's section. one in the stacks. and one, well, we call him "the eye in the sky" or just "the eye."

this directive was brought to you by the Art House Co-op. 

tales from the chat archive: traffic court fashion

11:31 PM well-dressed man: yes i dressed nice

11:33 PM me: but you still paid money

 well-dressed man: its not a whore house

  its a court house

  an old white man is not going to let me go because i looked good, lol

  i could go in a thong and he would probably make me pay more 

11:39 PM me: oooooor...it would look like you have tons of money and could afford the higher fine

 well-dressed man: actually it was funny....

  he asked the first five people in front of me if they had a job

  and he didn't ask me

11:40 PM i wore dress pants and dress shoes, which i never wear 

11:47 PM me: he was probably surprised YOU went to court instead of your lawyer

11:51 PM well-dressed man: no, my face looked like i just wanted to pay and get on with my life. i think i got a cold from being around real people. 

 

lessons learned:

1. court house not a whore house.

2. justice is blind...and that's a good thing.

3. people assume that the well-dressed are employed.

4. the common cold is airborne.

when i see this, i think...round 2

of course i was reading about the Queen of England's diamond jubilee celebration lunch, and learned that there is a real Queen of Jordan and her name is Rania. and she is GORGEOUS! not to mention that she is a true believer that education = opportunity.

but during my more ignorant days, the only Queen of Jordan i know is Tracy Jordan's wife Angie. who can forget that voluptuous confident woman? she has a (fake) reality tv show. and D'fwan! come on! you know you'd watch it.

story time

in today's edition of "this girl writes something" i'm going to share with you a cryptic part-of-a-larger-entity story i wrote for brandon generator, edgar wright and tommy lee edward's brainbaby.

The scanner reads the barcode on my IDcuff. I move it up to my face after the third beep and read today's schedule: 

0730 Breakfast, DHALL 

0800 Comm Assembly, LNX ATR 

0900 History, LL13 

1030 Adv Physics, LL05 

1200 Lunch, DHALL 

*1245 Sys + Strategy, LL22 

*1500 Sp Weapons Training, CC47 

1800 Dinner, DHALL 

*1900 PhSYC Cond, MC438 

Three schedule changes. And PhSYC? So they believed the rumors. They now actually think I am insane.

questions?

why do they all have IDcuffs? 
are those dog tag replacements? 
how far into the future is this? 
are they in the military? 
WTF do all those letters stand for?  
they spelled "psychology" wrong? "physical?"
if he/she's insane, then why still make him/her go to weapons training?
what's happening?


i thought so.

answers? i don't have all of them. i don't even know if i should flesh this out into a full-blown short story or - do i dare say - a book. but i do know that i've been churning out tidbits of stories once every few days. they're longer than the 500-character limit on brandon generator so i haven't submitted any of those. (i do have another one up on the site if curiosity does you in.)

french kids dancing

or more like american actors acting like french kids dancing. either way, best use of french pop music ever.

here's part two of the sketch: les jeunes de paris 2 - le retour
also, props to camille, yelle, emma stone, AND taran killam for making these two of the most entertaining sketches in recent snl seasons.

to the skies

virgin america is the best thing that has ever happened to domestic air travel in the US. i'm dead serious. from mood lighting, eye-candy flight attendants and leatherette seats to RED the entertainment system, outlets and usb ports, and onboard wi-fi, VX makes flying luxurious even in economy. everytime i fly a non-virgin flight, i feel deprived and cheated. (what there is no screen in front of me?! where is my bottled water?) there was only one time i was majorly disappointed when the flight landed; i actually cried, "NOOO! i want to know who won this [Top Gear] challenge!" (btw, please bring BBC America back on you satellite tv channel line-up. kthnks!) gotta say i'm proud to be a member of the elevate class.

also, who names their planes "unicorn chaser?" they do.

when i see this, i think...

when i went to see west side story live and saw this part of the musical:

i immediately thought about this:

since i love the flight of the conchords infinitely more than west side story and actually saw fotc first, this round goes to the parody.

when i saw previews for the black donnellys on tv:

all i could think of was, "isn't johnny drama on this one?"

then i remembered five towns was only a tv show within entourage, another tv show.

when i hear people talk about parkour or free running, which features some impressive shows of athleticism:

i laugh and think of michael scott and company and their attempts at "hard core parkour" in the office:

i'll post more as i come across more absurd comparisons.